Simon Cowell makes himself feel better by buying a weird little car

Um, if we're honest, Simon, we're a little disappointed. Is it a motorbike or a car? Or a three-wheeler? Or Batman's cast-off?

Alright, so Simon Cowell's had a bit of a stressful week. The release of Tom Bower's unauthorised biography, 'Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life Of Simon Cowell' has unleashed a barrage of revelations regarding his grooming habits, his sexual proclivities and his business dealings.

So far we've found out he had a fling with Dannii Minogue, was thinking about sacking Gary Barlow from The X Factor and he has a beauty regime to rival most supermodels.

Rex

 

And then his old friend and colleague Sharon Osbourne brilliantly waded in and claimed he had "small penis syndrome" and was actually seeing two other girls at the same time as being engaged to Megzhan Hussainy. Awkward.

So how does the big (or small  *snigger*) man deal with all the attention? By forgetting to shave, going out on a date with Brazillian socialite Anna Paula Pzevedo and buying a weird looking little car.

He tweeted the picture of his new motorbike/three-wheeler last night with the caption, "I decided to buy myself a sensible car for once!"

Hmm...really?

There are only 200 Carvers in the world. It has two back wheels, like a car, but the front wheel of a motorbike. The front half tilts at a 45 degree angle which means it's able to 'carve' round corners. (Geddit - the carver? Yeah? Good.) And for anyone interested in the technical guff: it has a 660cc turbocharged engine, does 0-60 in eight seconds and has a top speed of around 115mph.

Even Jeremy Clarkson loves it. When he tried it on Top Gear yonks ago, he said "It's the most fun you can have in a car."

Well, according to Simon's biography he doesn't really need anymore fun. Send that Carver round to our office please.